Dr. Ruth

Never Got Personal Sex Advice

I never got sex advice from the Dr. Ruth; rather always optimism about life.  This attached video was from April 2020—just as our world was starting the isolation of the pandemic.  My interesting relationship with Dr. Ruth Westheimer was around my annual Passover Seder which she attended and spoke at least 10 times.   Funny, warm, and engaging, she loved being surrounded by people, photographed, and helpful.   Just 12 weeks ago, when she was 95 years old, she insisted on coming to City Winery to once again attend with 300 people.  Wheeled in a chair, having had a stroke a few months before, she still wanted the microphone to say a few words to the audience.  

She had a remarkable life story which can be read online now, but in a nutshell, she was born to a Jewish family in Germany in 1928, escaped the Nazi’s, joined the Hagenah in Palestine as sniper in the Israeli war of independence.  Immigrated to the US, became a media star with a show called Sexually Speaking, and became the consummate New Yorker that was an honor to know. 

But unlike many famous New Yorkers, she was accessible and loved engaging.  Hearing her wanting to come back year after year, “please call me” was music to my ears.   But when she grabbed the mic, said a few words, wishing everyone a good holiday, and then ended with “now everyone, go home and try a new position”, she always brought the house down.   Imagine your 4’ 7” grandma telling you to go home and experiment sexually.  It’s both disconcerting and very funny.   A juxtaposition which she used to communicate her ultimate message of positivity.   No matter what was thrown at her—the Holocaust, bullets, the pandemic, or a stroke, she saw the world positively, suggesting having fun, trying something new, and indulge in your sensory pleasure.  She was an example to us all and my her memory be a true blessing.